By Tanith
Warnings: death, insanity and angst Pairings: 1+2+1


de·men·tia n. Deterioration of intellectual faculties, such as memory, concentration, and judgment, resulting from an organic disease or a disorder of the brain. It is sometimes accompanied by emotional disturbance and personality changes.



I flinch at the sound of your voice, a shiver rolling up my spine. My fingers still, my eyes come up. Close, open, stare straight ahead. Your face stares back, blue eyes wide, surprised. My hands twitch. That had been a hard shade to mix. Blue, indigo... violet? No words to describe it. My finger falls, smearing the blue down your cheek like a stream of tears. I shudder, a dull ache shooting through me.

'No, love, don't.'

A whisper, your whisper, your distinctive husky drawl. I don't move, don't look for you. In the very corner of my vision I see you, your shadow. A dark smudge against the wall. My head turns. Your shadow-braid swings as you move, disappearing, running from my chasing gaze. I turn back to your face, defeated. Grinning lips, tear-stained cheek.

Droning voices behind me. I ignore them, my finger dipping into the black paint.


"Duo," I answer, closing my eyes. A door opens behind me, silence falls, a hovering presence enters.

"Heero did you say something?" Honey-sweet voice, coddling tone. Like a mother to her cherished baby. Not your loving voice.

"No," I reply curtly, my eyes never leaving yours. I willed the door to close again.

"That's a...lovely painting, Heero."

Painting? I look at you quizzically. Had I been painting? I tilt my head, but you don't answer. You grin. You want her gone, too, I can see it in your eyes. I smile back at you.

A sigh, then that cloying voice that leaves a bitter taste in the back of my throat. "I think it's bedtime, Heero. Aren't you tired?" She moves closer into the room and I look at you sadly. I stand and turn, letting her lead me out of the room.

'Sleep well, my love.'

"Good night, Duo," I whisper in turn and she flinches beside me.

"Heero..." She sighs. So sad, so... She wishes she weren't here, I know she does. I wish she would leave. I wish... "He's dead, Heero." Not sweet anymore, insistent, worried. She's unhappy here. She stops, halfway across the house to my room. She turns me toward her. Blue eyes, light, not dark like yours. "Dead, Heero. Please..."

"No," I say simply. She doesn't understand. No one does.

Blue eyes, not yours, close, lips purse. A slight nod, I turn away, waiting for her to take me to my room. Her fingers glance over my arm and fall. She walks, I follow. The door closes behind me and clicks, locked, but I don't notice. I move to the window. It rained today. Soft brown earth is moist, sparkling beneath the moonlight.

I turn, the room is bright with a silver glow. The moonlight avoids the bed. I back away from the window and lie down on the shadowy mattress. The wall stares blankly at me.


I smile, feeling your arms wrapping around me from behind. Your fingers stroke through my hair. Longer than before, thick and course. Your hair is long. Like silk against my skin. My fingers twitch, yearning to feel it. I don't move. Your lips caress my neck. A chill runs through me. I shiver, smiling.

"I love you," I whisper. You nod, humming in the back of your throat. A lullaby. My eyes drift closed because you want me to sleep. Breathy, my voice almost gone I ask a question that burns with urgency. "Will I see you tomorrow?" No answer, the same silence every night.

I slip into darkness, content for now. I dream of your husky drawl. You whisper.

'Yes, my love. Yes...'


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