By TJ Dragonblade
Warnings: Sap, shounen-ai, cold weather, and TJ airing some seasonal gripes...
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is created by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino,
copyrighted by Sunrise/SOTSU Agency, and distributed by Bandai entertainment.
In other words, I am merely playing with the boys for the entertainment
of myself and hopefully others; in so doing I mean no disrespect or copyright
Feedback: Much appreciated, though I don't know how much this one deserves
Setting: Post EW
Notes: It's a few days late, perhaps; but (shrugs) oh well. Fair warning:
'The Holidays' put me in...an odd humor. Iím using my 2x5 forum to have
a little fun and see if I can't dispel that mood. Duo: She's subjecting
you to her self-prescribed therapy. Be afraid. Be *very* afraid...
Duo Maxwell was feeling distinctly
more well-baked than any Christmas cookie in existence. It probably had
something to do with the fact that his partner had turned the vehicle's
heat up to full blast to ward off the cold; currently Duo was beginning
to think a little cold wouldn't be such a bad thing. Dry heated air blew
past his face, searing his skin and drying his eyelids; the temperature
had gone from pleasant to uncomfortable within five minutes. Duo had removed
his jacket a moment ago and was now beginning to sweat. He said nothing,
though; for one glance over at Wufei made it clear that the Chinese Preventer
was still cold.
And for Duo, his lover's comfort always came before his own.
Wufei was huddled down in the passenger seat of the department-standard
SUV, jacket pulled tight about him, collar turned up, arms folded around
his stomach for extra warmth, hair unbound for the same reason. He stared
out the window at the subject of their surveillance, a hint of a scowl
pulling down his eyebrows and the corners of his lovely mouth.
Duo glanced out the windshield as well, noting that everything and everyone
still seemed to be in place. They were parked on a hillside overlooking
the spacious grounds of a large mansion that belonged to one of the former
members of the Romafeller foundation. The individual in question--a marquis
of some sort, if Duo remembered correctly--had long been suspected of
illegal weapons trade; the Preventers had been working undercover to build
the case against him for the last month or so. It was Heero's mission;
tonight he was making the bust. Trowa was his backup; they were both inside,
incognito at the Christmas party currently in full swing. There were teams
of officers scattered around the perimeter of the property, ready to move
in at Heero's signal; Duo and Wufei were parked along the back road out,
manning communications and available to apprehend the marquis should he
slip by the others and attempt an escape that way.
Truthfully, Duo would have rather been at the party. It looked like wonderful
fun, the guests all bundled in their furs beside the small frozen pond
in the middle of the yard, some skating leisurely across its surface;
buffet tables set up in the lightly packed snow, sharply-dressed servers
drifting among the party-goers with champagne and hors d'oeuvres; the
large evergreen with all the lights that stood between the pond and the
house, Christmas carols blaring merrily from two speakers under the porch
roof...Duo sighed. Communications and backup were always more boring than
being in the thick of it.
One of the servers glanced up in their direction, green eyes picking them
out easily among the foliage that concealed their vehicle. Duo leaned
forward to press the button on the comm unit and spoke softly.
"Zero-three, Zero-two--everything going according to plan?"
There was a barely perceptible nod of an auburn head before Trowa turned
to refill some over-bejeweled woman's champagne flute.
Duo released the comm button and sat back with a sigh, tugging a little
at his collar. It was really getting toasty inside the car...
Wufei glanced over; his hint of a frown deepened slightly and he reached
for the dash, turning the heat down. Then he went back to not quite scowling
out the window.
Breathing a silent sigh of gratitude, Duo leaned back and began absently
humming along with the Christmas carols drifting up from the party below.
"I detest that song," Wufei said suddenly, arms folded
again in front of him.
Duo looked over, startled that Wufei was breaking his silent funk at last.
"Yes." Wufei sank down a little further in his seat.
"Why?" Surely Wufei was not this moody over a silly children's
"Because. It is...unjust." Wufei hesitated over the word, not
wanting the 'oh-brother-here-we-go-again' reaction it usually got him;
for some reason right now the song was truly bothering him.
Duo seemed to sense that. "How so?"
"It is the story of a misfit, someone who merely looks different
and is therefore ridiculed and cast out--until someone of importance takes
note of him. Then suddenly those who tormented him are his closest friends??"
He shook his head, reiterating. "It is unjust. What sort of moral
is it to teach the children who sing it?"
Duo blinked, taken aback by the vehemence in Wufei's tone. He had never
thought of Rudolph in that light...
"Besides which, the tune is just plain annoying," Wufei added.
"All these damnable Christmas songs--they stick in my head
and grate on my nerves..."
"All of them?"
"Most of them," Wufei amended. "Some of those with a more
melancholy sound are tolerable, perhaps even pleasant. But for the most
part, they are simply irritating. And even those that are not are too
often twisted into utterly tasteless renditions by stars of the moment."
"Maybe I should introduce you to Weird Al's Christmas songs,"
Wufei frowned slightly, the reference escaping him.
"He's a comedian, 'Fei--remind me to dig out his stuff for ya sometime."
"How 'bout this one?" Duo gestured vaguely in the direction
of the party as a different song played. "Does it bug ya too?"
"Simpering, insipid romantic triteness--yes."
"Even when I sing it to you?"
"You have never sung to me, period."
"Then it's about time I start." Duo turned a little toward his
lover and picked up the song.
"When we finally kiss goodnight, how I'll hate going out in the storm..."
He leaned a little closer, smiling his most disarming smile. "But
if you really hold me tight, all the way home I'll be warm!"
Wufei rolled his eyes, but his scowl was looking more like a smile with
every second that passed. Duo grinned wider, holding his lover's gaze
and leaning closer still, one hand bracing himself on the dashboard.
"Oh the fire is slowly dying; and my dear, we're still goodbye-ing--"
Duo let the tip of his nose touch the tip of Wufei's, glad to note that
the other was no longer trying to hide his smile. "But as long as
you love me so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!" And he kissed
Wufei, softly, on the mouth.
Wufei let him.
<<Zero-two, Zero-five--Zero-one.>> Heero's voice from the
comm unit interrupted them, sounding half-amused and half-annoyed. <<A
lovely serenade, Zero-two; would you care to resume the course of your
duties at this time?>>
"Oops," Duo mumbled as he withdrew to the driver's side again
and Wufei blushed faintly. He must have inadvertently been holding down
the comm button when he had his hand on the dash; since he'd moved it
when he kissed Wufei, Heero had been free to answer--especially as his
host seemed to be absent at the moment.
But if Heero had heard, then everyone else involved in the operation and
wearing an earpiece had probably heard as well...Duo blushed to match
his lover and hit the comm button again. "Zero-one, Zero-two. Thanks
for the compliment. Don't worry, we gotcher ass covered." He released
<<Hn.>> Duo could imagine the look on Heero's face, half-scowl
and half-smile. It would just about match the expression that Wufei had
settled back into.
"So." Duo resumed the thread of their earlier conversation.
"Is it still annoying when I sing it to ya?"
"...No," Wufei admitted. "But I abhor the snow."
"But snow is nice, 'Fei. It makes the world all pretty and peaceful
"And cold, and wet, and colorless, and depressing..."
Duo didn't budge. "It's got that solemn, dignified beauty goin' for
"Funerals have such attributes as well, Duo, with the additional
perks of warmth and dryness; yet they remain singularly unpleasant occurrences..."
"But 'Fei...c'mon. You're telling me you don't like to play in the
snow every now and then?"
"Play in it?" Wufei sounded slightly affronted by the
"Yeah, play--y'know, make snow angels, have snowball fights, go sledding,
ice-skating, build snowmen..." Duo trailed off at the blank look
on his lover's face. "You never have, have you."
"Then I'm gonna hafta show ya. C'mon, we can do angels right here."
He moved to open his door.
"Duo! We are on duty!" Wufei spoke sharply, a slight edge of
panic to his tone. "Covert duty, I might remind you--we do
not need the sound of car doors closing on the hillside above his home
to alert the marquis to our presence."
"Like he'd even hear," Duo shrugged, sitting back again. "But
it would be bad if we weren't manning the comm. I'll just have
to make you play at home, then."
"I do not want to."
Duo fought the urge to grin; Wufei looked and sounded so much like a petulant
toddler that it would have been easy to overlook the fact that something
was eating at him.
But Duo knew from past experience that ignoring Wufei's moods usually
only drew them on longer.
"Alright, 'Fei, out with it. What's really bugging you?"
Wufei glanced over at Duo, teeth sunk lightly into his lower lip. He hated
to grouch about this holiday that Duo loved so well; yet he had already
begun; and he knew Duo would not leave him alone until he laid it all
"Why does Christmas mean so much to you, Duo?" he asked at last.
"I know you quite well by now; you have never struck me as devoutly
Duo blinked, not having expected the question, and pondered for a moment.
"Welllllll..." he drew out, lacing his hands behind his head
and gazing up at the interior roof of the SUV. "You're right; it's
really not a religious thing. It's more...it's more what Christmas has
come to mean in general--remembering and being with family and loved ones,
peace, happiness, goodwill, all that...it's kind of a warm-fuzzy closure
to the year, and it tends to bring out the best in people..."
"The best? " Wufei looked askance at him. "This
I have yet to see," he scoffed. "I see mindless masses
thronging the stores, bickering among themselves over petty items of little
real value. I see vast outpourings of false charity to ease guilty souls
who cannot be bothered with such generosities the rest of the year. I
see spoiled children throwing tantrums, screaming of what they want but
cannot have while others go without basic necessities. I see careless,
irresponsible party-goers endangering innocent lives because they could
not be bothered to find someone to drive them. I am assailed at every
turn with tales of Christmas so full of sap and 'heartwarming magic'
that they set my teeth on edge. And what have lights and trees and gaudy,
tasteless plastic decorations and utterly irritating songs to do
with family and loved ones and peace for all mankind?"
"Not much, I guess," Duo answered as Wufei's tirade subsided.
"It's...just the way people are accustomed to celebrating. Does it
really get you so riled up?" He was thinking guiltily of all the
shopping and decorating and generally Christmas-y stuff he'd had Wufei
doing these past weeks, and it showed in his eyes.
Wufei's scowl softened.
"Oh no, love, had I minded helping you prepare, you would have heard
of it before now. Anything done for you or with you is well worth my time,
and never a thing to be complained of. I have enjoyed shopping with you;
the delight you take in giving, in doing for others--it makes me fall
in love with you over and over again. Bestowing gifts upon you is one
of my greatest pleasures in life. And the tree at home that you decorated
shows far more taste and care than any others I have seen. I understand
that observing such traditions is important to you now because you could
not do so as a child. My disillusionment has nothing to do with you; rather,
it is with mankind and society in general. I have had very little exposure
to Christmas in the course of my life; perhaps I have not yet seen enough.
I am afraid I feel a far greater affinity for Ebenezer Scrooge than anything
else at this point."
"I understand where you're coming from, 'Fei; really, I do. Even
if I don't view it the same way."
"Nor do I wish for you to view things my way. Life would be utterly
unbearable with the both of us frumping about ill-tempered and grouchy..."
"Can you imagine?" Duo chuckled. He changed to a squeaky imitation
of an old man's voice. "Bah humbug!" he exclaimed, and dissolved
into giggles. "I think our friends would have a collective conniption
Wufei was smiling. "Indeed." He turned the heat down another
notch, feeling considerably less cold by now, and caught Duo's gaze. "Will
you help me, then, to see the beauty in the season instead of only the
"It would be my pleasure, 'Fei."
Wufei was still smiling, even as the strains of 'White Christmas' drifted
up from the party below. "Be forewarned, however--I do not think
it likely that my opinion of holiday music will change. And I would sooner
dream of a snowless Christmas than a white one."
"Oh, rest assured, I'm still gonna make you play in the snow,"
Duo was saying, when suddenly Heero's voice came clearly over the comm
system above the background buzz of the party.
<<Marquis de Chevalier, you are hereby placed under arrest on authority
of the Preventers.>>
<<You...you backstabbing honorless little son of a Japanese whore--!>>
the marquis' voice was cut off by the sound of physical blows.
<<I said -->> There was the distinct 'thud' of Heero's
fist connecting with a solar plexus; the marquis' voice groaned in pain
and then came the shuffling 'thunk' of a man falling to his knees. <<--that
you're under arrest, Marquis. Don't make me repeat it again.>>
Heero's voice changed. <<All units, converge on target.>>
There was a great flurry of movement as the hidden Preventer teams exploded
from cover and rushed the estate, rounding up guests and shepherding them
all inside for questioning or detainment as necessary.
Duo leaned forward and pressed the comm button. "Zero-one, Zero-two--you
need us down there too?"
<<Negative, Oh-two. Hold position.>>
"Roger." Duo sat back.
<<And by all means, do sing us another song,>> Trowa's
voice piped up.
Duo grinned. "Sorry, Zero-three--that's a one-time performance."
<<More's the pity,>> Trowa sighed.
Duo shook his head. "Well that was a simple enough mission."
"Indeed. Would that all our missions would proceed so smoothly.
Without the Christmas carols, however."
"Yeah?" Duo winked at his lover; then rolled down his window
and leaned out, drawing his gun and aiming carefully as another carol
<<~Chestnuts roasting on an o--~>>
Wufei actually jumped at the noise, staring dumbfounded at the now-smoking
ruin of the speakers beneath the porch roof.
And yes, mercifully, the music had stopped.
Wufei turned to stare at his lover, his expression caught somewhere between
a delighted grin and blatant disbelief.
Duo shrugged. "Merry Christmas, Wu."
The grin won out. "Bah humbug."
Duo opened his mouth to respond; Wufei held up a hand to cut him off.
"If you say--" his voice changed to a simpering falsetto "--'God
bless us, everyone!', Duo, I will strangle you." The grin
was still in place.
Duo closed his mouth, matching the grin, and leaned in to peck Wufei warmly
on the cheek. "I love ya, Grinch."
"Hn." Wufei pulled Duo back over for a real kiss. "I love
you too, Duo Maxwell." He paused. "Merry Christmas."
Duo: Well, there you have it, folks. Therapy complete.
TJ: I'm still pouting 'cause Santa didn't bring me sexy stripping Asian
Duo: Get *over* it already, Teej.
TJ: Easy for *you* to say--you've got Wu-bubbles over there...
Duo: Yup. And you've got your Chibi Deathscythe model to assemble.
TJ: (perks up) Ooh yah! ...But I still want sexy stripping Asian boys.
Duo: If you shut up about it I'll see what I can talk 'Fei into...
TJ: (glomps him) Really??
Duo: (pries TJ off) 'He runs, he hides, he never lies'--remember?
TJ: ^_^ (dances in anticipation)
Duo: -_-' I only said I'd see what I could talk 'im into...
to TJ Dragonblade's fic]